Don’t judge, don’t kill the vibe: Concert etiquette tips to follow

Written by Danielle Chiriguayo, produced by Bennett Purser

“Live music is an emotional experience. It should be a freeing experience. And you shouldn't be standing in a crowd dancing, worrying about whether somebody's gonna take a video of you and make fun of you on their TikTok,” says Callie Ahlgrim. Photo by Shutterstock.

A disturbing trend has picked up steam at concerts: Fans are throwing objects at performers while they’re on stage. In June, a flying cell phone hit Bebe Rexha in the face, requiring her to get stitches. Weeks later, one concertgoer threw their mother’s ashes on P!nk. Most recently, a fan doused Cardi B with water, and the rapper responded by throwing a microphone back. 

So what’s going on? Callie Ahlgrim, senior music reporter for Insider, breaks down the unruly behavior and shares her concert etiquette rules

The trend isn’t new, Ahlgrim tells KCRW, pointing out that David Bowie was nearly blinded when someone threw a lollipop at him in 2004 during his performance at the Norwegian Wood Festival.

However, the behavior is becoming more common as a post-pandemic symptom: “There's a lot of younger people going into shows right now who came of concert-going age during the pandemic, when they couldn't go to concerts. And now it's like they're learning how to be appropriate in a crowd and not doing a good job.”

Individualism is playing a part too, especially among Gen Z and younger millennials. Known as “main character syndrome,” Ahlgrim says many are seeking attention and want to make their own viral moment. “[Concerts] have always been places for people to take photos and videos. But now it's like the attendees want to be the subject of the videos instead of the performer themselves.”

Want to enjoy your concert, but still be safe and respectful? Check out Ahlgrim’s tips below. 

Don’t throw stuff

There’s a big difference between throwing a bra or feather boa (like at a Harry Styles concert) on stage — versus a cellphone.

Don’t use flash photography

Miranda Lambert chastised a group of fans for taking selfies during her show. Ahlgrim says the group was within their right to memorialize their show experience, but she draws the line when it comes to turning on the flash.

“You don't want to distract the artists or the performer. They have a show to put on, and that's why you're there. So I think the good base rule is to respect the performer. And if it's going to be something that's distracting or harmful to them, maybe don't do it.”

Skip the shriek

Recent videos of Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour and Beyonce’s Renaissance Tour have featured concertgoers yelling excessively to the music performed. Singing louder than everyone else doesn’t make for the ideal experience.   

“Nobody wants to have a whole concert with somebody yelling in their ear to the point where they can't even hear the performer,” Ahlgrim says. “A concert is a communal experience. And if you're not going to respect and support the experiences of the people around you, then there's no point in being there.”

Ahlgrim says there is a time and place for that level of energy, however, such as during widely-known lyrics.

Don’t be a vibe killer 

Nothing is worse than apathetically standing at a concert, Ahlgrim says, so watch where you’re standing. 

“I love going to a concert for an artist that I'm not really familiar with and getting to know their discography. But in those instances, I'm not going to push myself to the front of the stage where all the hardcore fans are. I'm going to find a nice, side vantage point or at the back where I can enjoy it at an appropriate quietness.” 

She adds, “It's a mood killer and I don't think that's fair to the people around you.”

Don’t be a creep

Another behavior that is becoming normalized is filming other people at a concert or in their daily lives and critiquing them. Ahlgrim says cut it out.

“It is especially egregious in a concert space where people are going to be emotional hearing music. Live music is an emotional experience. It should be a freeing experience. And you shouldn't be standing in a crowd dancing, worrying about whether somebody's gonna take a video of you and make fun of you on their TikTok.”

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