From situationships to online dating horrors, it’s no secret that the modern dating scene can drive singles right out of the pool. Many women I know have gotten used to the disappointing connections – boring dates, inconsistent communication, and ghosting are all considered par for the course.
That’s why comedian Allison Goldberg decided to toss the conventions and create a comedy dating show that centers on women and gets everyone in the same room for some laughs.
The standard format for “Love Isn’t Blind” follows four men competing for the heart of a bachelorette on stage, with the crowd egging them on as Goldberg whips out jokes and games.
The conceit?
The men can’t speak.
One night per month at The Cat’s Crawl in East Hollywood, you’ll feel the energy buzz as people trickle in from the wrap-around line outside. The crowd — people in their 20s and 30s, from a mix of racial backgrounds — files into the modest theater-bar while craning their necks at the other patrons. Everyone is looking for love tonight.
The lights dim and Goldberg bounds on stage with her microphone.
“This is the dating show where the man can’t speak. Because men should be seen, not heard,” she announces. The crowd whoops in agreement.
Occasionally, she experiments with the format, presenting queer versions or a one-night-only reunion special, like a recent version in which four previous bachelorettes got to join in on the fun as contestants.
The name “Love Isn’t Blind” riffs on the Netflix series “Love Is Blind,” where contestants try to find love without initially seeing what the other person looks like. Goldberg, on the other hand, is all about face-to-face connections.
The turn of the COVID pandemic largely shifted the dating landscape online, with Chapman University reporting approximately 96% of singles were using dating apps. While that number has decreased, online dating apps remain the most popular way singles find dates in the U.S.
And Goldberg finds it nauseating.
“Oh, I think online dating is a travesty of humanity. It is a cesspool. It is atrocious. How many words can I come up with right now?” says Goldberg. “But,” she adds with a laugh, “I’m on them.”
Some of the “Love Isn’t Blind” games involve going through the contestants’ phones, reviewing their Amazon shopping history — and even calling their parents.
By the end of the show, there’s only one contestant left on stage for the bachelorette. And the winning couple disappears for a date.
But for the rest of the crowd, the real fun begins at an afterparty. The venue transforms into a dance floor, where the losing contestants join the crowd of singles ready to mingle. With the help of music, a full bar, and designated wingmen and wingwomen in fairy costumes, the show turns into an immersive dating experience for everyone involved.
After one recent show, wingwoman Mary Jo Madda is handing out relationship-status wristbands — green for single, red for taken, purple for poly, yellow for complicated, rainbow for queer — and facilitating connections. She says it works: “One of my good friends … was in a relationship with a guy for about six months who another wingperson introduced her to [at ‘Love Isn’t Blind’].”
People at the show agreed on one thing: “I think a lot of the guys here are hot,” says contestant Aneri Shah.
No argument from fellow contestant Amber Wyman: “I think some of the guys are really cute,” she says.
However, the crowd can skew a little older for Zoomers. ”It's very much a lot of millennials here and I'm 22,” said attendee Xitlali Gomez-Williams. “I’d honestly say I like the apps a little better.”
To land a spot on the show, hopefuls must fill out applications online — for free — which includes videos about who they are and what they’re looking for. Goldberg also reviews their social media accounts for “vibe checks.” (Those who simply want to watch the show must buy tickets online.)
For Shah, she’s excited to see where her connection with bachelor Graham North may lead. “At the very least, I would like to go on a date,” she says. “I like him. And it's so much more fun to go out and meet people and feel their energy.”
North agrees.
“It's so fascinating to hear someone's father speak about them the first time that you've ever met them, like it's such an insane and different experience than you normally get,” says North.
In Goldberg’s experience, how the contestants’ connections pan out are a mixed bag: “I’ve had some short-term relationships. I’ve had two contestants date for six months. … [But] aside from that, there are so many friendships that have resulted. I joke that my best success story is [former contestants] Jay and Jeremy, two men who are now just bros.”