When it comes to raising their second son Dominic, who was born with severe physical disabilities, Professor Shailen Singh says “we gained so much more. … We realized that we didn't lose anything with Dominic, because he was always that same child from birth,” says Singh. “We didn't lose anything at all, we just got to know him.”
Jonathan Bastian talks with Shailen Singh about how he and his wife are raising their son and his strong desire to let his son define disability for himself, instead of letting the world define it for him. “Being disabled, it’s an absolutely defining characteristic of Dominic and certainly a defining characteristic of our family,” says Singh. “But I think it's good to know that it's not the only defining characteristic of Dominic, like he's more than that.”
Singh says society needs to adjust how it sees disability and shares some of the daily frustrations Dominic encounters.
“Whenever we're in a medical setting, the biggest challenge is how do we get them to respect Dominic's personhood when the medical system really wants to break him down into his components, parts and service whatever individual component part they're looking at?” says Singh. “How can we make sure that they're looking at Dominic holistically and not just trying to separate out his physical well being from his cognitive well being to his emotional well being?”
So are there ways society can embrace a more equitable and inclusive approach to those with disabilities? Singh suggests a shift in perspective.
“It's always the one disabled kid within a larger room full of able bodied children, it's never the other way around,” says Singh. “We never think about what it might be like to put an able-bodied child in a room full of disabled kids to think about what diversity would look like from that lens.”
Ted Talk Parenting a Disabled Child: Nurturing Self Worth. Hosted by Shailen Singh