The Perfect Kiss full transcript

Bob the Drag Queen: If you bite my lip and I lean back, it should pop out of your mouth.

Myisha Battle: Yeah, that's fair.

Bob: If you bite my lip

Myisha: And you hold it.

Bob: And I can't get it back? You're biting too hard.

Myisha: That's mine! That's my lip. It's not your lip.

Bob: Yeah, and I only got two!

MUSIC

Myisha: Welcome back to KCRW's How's Your Sex Life? Your sex and dating survival guide. I'm your host, Myisha Battle, and I'm here to tell you that this is our last episode of the season! Today we're gonna hear your questions about kissing mismatches and attraction. And we thought who better to celebrate the end of the season with than the one and only, Bob the Drag Queen. Hi, Bob.

Bob: I mean, having me for the season finale just feels so right.

Myisha: It feels so right! Thank you so much for being here.

Bob: Oh my pleasure.

Myisha: I can't wait to get into our questions, but before we do, I have a question for you.

Bob: Okay!

Myisha: How's your sex life?

Bob: You know, I think I have a pretty healthy sex life. Some might call it overactive.

Myisha: Okay!

Bob: And I'm certainly what the people call sex positive, but I feel like younger people are kind of less sex positive these days and more kind of, there's a, in the Gen Z and young Gen Alpha, is Gen Alpha 18? I'm not sure, but in this age group there's kind of like, it seems like a lot of people are like, I guess for a lack of a better word, demure.

Myisha: Less up for anything. More reserved.

Bob: Yeah!

Myisha: Uh huh.

Bob: Yeah, low key.

Myisha: I'm getting that too.

Bob: How's your sex life?

Myisha: I would say at the moment, it's quiet. I've had some tense relationship moments, I think, like the election just cast this pall over our household, and the anxiety around that has made sex more difficult in the recent past. That's, I think that's everybody, right, like, unless you just?

Bob: Well, I cannot particularly relate to that. (Laughs)

Myisha: Okay, are you fucking to get through it?

Bob: I mean, I don't think I'm fucking to get through it, but it certainly hasn't slowed down the amount of sex that'll happen.

Myisha: Okay! Well, I appreciate that. I appreciate that. There are people who like, stress does not affect their libido. So it sounds like that's you.

Bob: Yeah, I guess! I never, I never really thought about it to be honest. I never really given it a ton of consideration whether or not stress affects my libido, if I'm being fully honest with you.

Myisha: All right. Well, I hope that that continues, that you have a healthy sex life, despite any stress that we may see in the forthcoming future. All right, fingers crossed. Let's get started. And just a quick reminder, our questions are voiced by actors to keep everyone anonymous.

Bob: Like Oscar winning, Emmy winning, Tony Award actors?

Myisha: No one yet, but I can't say that they are not in line for that in the future.

Bob: Yeah, or maybe they did and they're just really like, shy about it. Don't bring up my Emmy. Don't bring up my Tony Award please. It makes me very uncomfortable. (Laughter)

Myisha: I'm just here to do a job, right? I'm just here to work.

Bob: I'm just here to read the questions, honey!

Myisha: (Laughs) Here we go.

Question 1: Hi, Myisha. I'm wondering if there's a way to become attracted to more people. I'm a queer woman who's only attracted to people with a certain gender expression, and just a small percentage within that group. I've explored hooking up with people that aren't my type, and it's always been disappointing. I'm so damn horny and I want to slut it up, but finding people I'm into is really difficult.

Myisha: So this one's interesting. I'm gonna just guess that this person is dealing with what some people are calling the masc shortage in the lesbian community. Are you familiar with this?

Bob: I'm not familiar with it, but it sounds like studs and butches are fading away and become and people are seeing more stems and femmes. Is that pretty much what it is?

Myisha: Mhm, yes, and so there's been some chatter on the internet about this. Is it really a phenomenon? Should we be like, interrogating our attractions and choices? I mean, this person clearly is like, how do I have more sex with different people? But they're still holding on to this identity of like, I'm only attracted to masc presenting women, any thoughts on that?

Bob: I mean, maybe what's going on is, maybe there's not a stud shortage, but all the studs got scooped up. You know what I mean?

Myisha: That's a theory!

Bob: Like, you get a, you get a, you get someone butch, you get a, you get a stud, you hold on!

Myisha: That's right.

Bob: You hold tight! You know, these are rare commodities these days. You hold on to your stud with a fervent grip, and then it's just a bunch of femmes sitting around being like, what, what a, what a, where the homeboys at?

Myisha: Yeah, I've heard that theory. I've heard that there's just, like, a lot of masc for masc love. And then there's also this phenomenon of, like, straight women who are tired of dating cis men dipping a toe, and so the way for them to do that is maybe through having sex with masc women. So there's a lot of like ideas about why there's not a perceived amount of masc people in the population, but I mean, as someone who's pansexual, this is, like, hard for me to fully understand, because, like, it doesn't matter to me. Gender presentation doesn't matter to me. I've been attracted to all different types of people. And I guess, like, my question for this person is, if they've ever really like interrogated why they like masc only presenting people.

Bob: Also, to be clear, if you are bisexual or pansexual, which there's been a lot of conversations about, if those are even the same thing, I identify as pansexual. You know you don't have to, your attraction doesn't have to be literally everyone in the same amount. That's not what that means.

Myisha: Right!

Bob: Just because you're pansexual, doesn't mean, like, I am attracted to men and women and non binary people and all the exact same amount, and that's, that's how I'm valid. You know, if you are bisexual and you've only ever dated women, that doesn't make you not bisexual, it's about your attraction. I would say your sexuality isn't about, the odd thing is, your sexuality is not about who you date. It's not about who you, it's not even about who you have sex with, it's about who you're attracted to, which is a pretty tough concept for some people to grasp.

Myisha: It's true. Yeah, I think this person needs to think more about where this drive towards masc identity is coming from for them, and to maybe start to challenge and think about, have there been times when they have been attracted to like, found themselves surprised that they were attracted to someone who didn't fit that mold?

Bob: Did they explicitly say that it was that? What they were attracted with? Masculine? Did I? Did I mishear that?

Myisha: No, I'm, I'm, I'm, like, there was just, like, some dancing around the language. So they said they're only attracted to people with a certain gender expression and just a small percentage within that group. So I kind of took that and ran with it, because there is a lot of discussion, but it could be something that's more even specific than what we're talking about.

Bob: Maybe! Maybe this is someone who's only attracted to feminine people, and now they're like, you know? Who knows? And I will say that it does feel nice to sometimes challenge yourself, but also don't. You don't want to make someone feel like they're part of your great experiment, you know? One time I was hooking up with this guy in Canada. I will never forget. I don't think I've ever told this story on the internet before. Hooked up with this guy in Canada. We met after I was, I had hosted this Montreal pride with the Queen Mado, who's this really popular drag queen in Canada. And as we were having sex like, while having sex like, literally inside of each other, right? He goes, ah. I go, what's going on? I'm checking in. I love an enthusiastic yes. I find that sexy, you know what I mean? And then he just goes, you know, I wanted to see if I could have sex with a Black person and it turns out I can't. I'm not attracted. And I was like, oh! And I was like, well, let me put my clothes on and ask you to leave immediately. Now, obviously this person was trying to step out of their box. I was not aware of this. I did not know I was part of some grand racial experiment they were taking part in. I thought we were just two people attracted to each other, hooking up in a hotel room in Canada. But Lauren B Holt, you know, my favorite drag queen, Lauren B Holt, I was shook to find out that I was part of his grand experiment. I was really gagged and really appalled. And I was like, you need to leave. You're gonna have to go.

Myisha: Totally! Yeah, you're well within your rights for that. That's, I mean, there's, there's something about, like, when people say they have, like, super strong preferences that, like, my hackles are raised when, like, to me, I think number one to like, have a type. There's something going on there, you know, that I think bears some thinking through and then why that type doesn't include certain types of people. For sure like going after someone because they fit some kind of XYZ, like, thing that you want to try that's like, you know, we want to stay away from that. But I think it's even, you know, before you start expanding on who you are having sex with, or, like, pushing the boundaries, like, really thinking about, like, where these preferences come from, because they're not always, like, these naive like, I just like what I like, you know? Like, there can be some really fucked up shit at the bottom of this.

Bob: Well, no one just likes stuff. Like I was having this conversation with someone about how they they were saying they weren't, they weren't attracted to something. I was like, well, why? And someone's like, like, for example, if you're at a restaurant and you don't like, if you don't like the food, if you don't like this meal, it's not just because you don't like it. Was it too salty? Was the texture weird? Was it cold? Like, was it overcooked? What was it? Like, it's not just because, it's not just because. It actually has, there's a lot more involved in it than just because. And the same thing goes with liking something. You don't just like it just because! You like it because the flavor profile is good. You like it because it's cooked perfect. You like it because the presentation on the plate. You like it because it makes you feel good when you eat it. It reminds you of something from your childhood. There's more than just because.

Myisha: Yes, and I think, like, if this person has had disappointing experiences with people who have different, you know, gender presentations than their type. Like, the better question is, like, why were those disappointing for you? Is it really just that, like, this person didn't meet your physical standard? And if that's the case, like, I mean, I hate to say it, but, like, good luck, because, like, there's going to be just a smaller pool of people for you to choose from if, like, seriously you are, you know, in that headspace of, like, being rigidly only attracted to a certain amount of people, and you've deduced that, like, hey, this is the one thing that works for me, and I'm just going to go for it, then you have to go for it. And maybe the compromise is you don't get as much sex as you would like to, even if you're like, super horny, you're just gonna have to entertain yourself. You're gonna have to find porn that centers the type of person that like you're super turned on by in those moments of drought. So, yeah, good luck! All right, let's move on to our next question. It's from a listener who's having some second thoughts about a very big decision.

VO 2: Hi Myisha! I want to thank you so much for your episode with Erica Chidi where you answered a past question of mine about miscarriages. Now I have a different query for you. My partner is a stage four cancer survivor, and his doctor said it is 99 percent likely he will not be able to have kids. We both want to adopt, regardless of this fact, I just don't feel we're financially ready. Can you help us out again?

Myisha: Well, first of all, I want to thank this person for coming back for more advice! That's really sweet, and I'm glad that you trust me and my opinion on this. I definitely have some thoughts that I hope will be helpful. But Bob, what are your first thoughts hearing this question?

Bob: I don't have any children, and I don't have any plans to have any children, but I will say, if you feel like you're not financially ready to have kids, you're probably not. And in fact, if you think you are financially ready to have kids, you're also probably not. I don't think people know how expensive children are. I don't think people have a true grasp, a real concept of how expensive it is to keep a person alive.

Myisha: Yeah.

Bob: We're not talking about braces, we're not talking about school trips, we're not talking about clothes, we're not talking about hobbies. We're not talking about saxophones. We're not talking about movies. We're not talking about Disney World. We're not talking about Six Flags. We're not we're just talking about, even about just, just food and clothes, you know, trucks and also time you have to take off from doing, from working, to have kids and take care of the kids and to drive the kids around and, you know, soccer practice and all this stuff. I feel like, if you're like, on the fence about having kids, you probably should not be having kids. If you're if you're like, ahhh, it could be fun. It might not be.

Myisha: Yeah.

Bob: And I also have this thing where, like me and my ex used to go back and forth about whether or not we'd be good parents, and he'd always go, I know I'd be a good dad. And I'd go, you don't know that! You don't know that, by the way, you might be right! To be clear, you might be right, but you do not know that you would be a good parent. That is an assumption you're making.

Myisha: You have a feeling that you'd be good.

Bob: Yeah, you got a feeling you'd be good and the truth is, we don't get to decide if we're good parents. That's not how being a parent works.

Myisha: That's right.

Bob: Your child grows up and then decides if you were a good parent to them.

Myisha: I love all those thoughts, yeah, I am also child free. I do not plan on having children, but I recently, I recently wrote, about, you know, a childless cat lady, all that rhetoric and why so many people are choosing not to have children, and it is largely that financial component. In my research, I found that on average, Americans will spend $27,000 on like infant through, you know, grade school like each year, like 27,000 each year. That's about average. And if you live in my state, California, it goes up to closer to something like $30,000 a year to do all those things that you just mentioned, Bob, you know, just to keep them alive, to keep the lights on, to keep the food in the refrigerator and keep them.

Bob: And keep them happy and social!

Myisha: Yeah, all those things! So it is a huge financial commitment and there are so many people, you know, millennials and you know Gen Z now, who are just like, it ain't worth it for me, like, that's a huge investment. The one thing I did want to offer this person is the option to foster a child, but I think the conversation needs to continue, and both of you, if you if you really are on board with this, you have to have universal consensus that this is something that you want to do and that you have the capacity to financially commit to if you're having nerves about being able to support a kid, or kids, if you're like, well, we want to have a kid with siblings, you know, then that's even it's an even bigger conversation and an even bigger financial commitment.

Bob: You know, I was not adopted, and I have never gone through the foster care system, but my best friend was adopted, and another one of my close friends was also adopted. One of them was inter family adopted. The other one was through, I think, an adoption agency. And you know, if you're going to, if you're going to foster kids like be, just be a good person, I don't know how to say it beyond that, like these, these kids can grow up with a lot of trauma, and the trauma of feeling like you were not wanted by your parents or this or that or the other, or just having this knowledge and knowing these things like, just like you need to. You need to do more than just read a book here and there. You know what I mean? You need to read like. You need to do a lot of work on yourself. You need to do a lot of work with this, with this person who, quite frankly, did not ask to come to your house. You asked them to come to your house. You invited them into your home, you know what I mean? And just, just be careful and kind with children in the foster care system. I have no experience with it myself. I've never fostered a child and I've never been in the system, but I just, I follow a couple of people online who are who were adopted or who went through foster care and have a lot of traumas from it, and it just makes me think a lot, so just be really careful with that.

Myisha: Yeah, it's something that people think of as a kind of a last resort, and I kind of feel like it's something that, if more people who are thoughtful about whether or not they can support a child are the ones who are adopting, like, that's such a gift, right? Like you said, just be a good person. Be thoughtful. Be, you know, be aware of what you're bringing in to this dynamic and the why behind that too. Like, why is it so important to have kids and then, yeah, move from that place. I think that's a huge benefit to society.

Bob: I agree.

Myisha: Yeah.

MUSIC

Myisha: All right, we're gonna take a quick break, but when we come back, we'll hear a question from someone who isn't getting their kissing needs met. Don't go anywhere!

BREAK

Myisha: And we're back! Bob, are you ready for our last question?

Bob: Let's do it!

Myisha: All right, let's take a listen.

Question 3: Hi Myisha, so I've been with my partner for a long time. I love slow, long, juicy kisses to get me in the mood, but he's a mouth breather, so foreplay ends up not working really well for me, and we always jump straight to intercourse or oral sex. Is there anything I can do to address this gap?

Myisha: I have a follow up question to this, which is like, if you're jumping to oral sex, I'm imagining that's not for you, right if they're a mouth breather and have trouble breathing with just kissing, so I'm guessing that like we're just skipping not only kissing, but we're skipping you receiving oral sex as well. That's a question I want an answer for, but we won't be able to get that from this person, but just what's your take on this first glance? Like, what having this desire for kissing, which is, like, very important for arousal for a lot of people, but then having a partner who has this limitation of, like, needing to breathe.

Bob: It sounds like there is a little bit of a lack of communication, like I have a sneaking suspicion that this has not been brought up to the mouth,to said mouth breather, you know what I mean? Like mouth breather probably can breathe through their nose, and sometimes, if you just tell your partner a little to the left, a little to the right, a little less, hands lean back, use put your hand here. If you just say it, they'll do it. And especially if you give a positive verbal response to that, they will be like, oh, I'm so you. You're telling me this whole time, I could have turned you on just by moving my hand from here to here, and that would do this much for you? I wish you had said something!

Myisha: Right.

Bob: You mean just in the time that we're kissing you want me to just breathe through my nose just while we're kissing? Baby, I got you! That would be, that's such a small adjustment to me, and I'm so happy to do that!

Myisha: Yeah, yeah, so.

Bob: I believe in asking for what you want!

Myisha: Absolutely! So this person, that's what I was just about to say, like, this person can say, like, I just basically what they said to us, like, I love long, slow, juicy kisses. Can we do more of that? And let's see what happens!

Bob: Can you describe the perfect kiss to me, like romance, like sexual kiss, not just like romance, like a sexual kiss? Can you describe what that is?

Myisha: I think it's different for everybody.

Bob: I mean for you, specifically.

Myisha: I'll tell you my version. Yeah, my version is it starts out teasing. And then there's more like depth to it. There's more surface area covered. There's more exploration with tongue. There's moaning, like the sound is really important to me, both in that like there's a sound that I can hear that reinforces what I'm experiencing, but also not that there's too much sound. So that's why juicy doesn't work for me because when I think about juice, I think of like, dripping, wet, and a bit sloppy, and I.

Bob: That's what that's what it is. That's what it is to me too. I hear that!

Myisha: So I like, uh, it's, it's like mild and it builds intensity, but it's not like we're all over the place, slipping and sliding.

Bob: I really like soft kisses.

Myisha: You do?

Bob: I love a soft kiss. But like, don't bite my, don't pull.

Myisha: Oh, no, I like that.

Bob: But to me, I'm like, part of me is like, bitch, ow! Like you can do a little, a little tug, is one thing, yeah. But when. What basically should be happening, if you bite my lip and I lean back, it should pop out of your mouth,

Myisha: Yeah, I think that's fair.

Bob: If you bite my lip,

Myisha: And you hold it!

Bob: And I can't get it back? You're biting too hard!

Myisha: That's mine! That's my lip. It's not your lip.

Bob: Yeah.

Myisha: Yeah.

Bob: And I only got two. I only got two. And I also feel like you should really, you should really only be biting the top lip, like biting the bottom lip, not the bottom, I mean.

Myisha: I was like, wait, what?

Bob: No. Biting the top lip is criminal activity. You're going to get, you're going to get 25 to life if I'm the judge. Don't bite! Biting my top lip is crazy!

Myisha: I'm trying to, I'm trying to, like, go through my experience. I don't think that's ever happened to me. I don't think I've ever had somebody try to bite my top lip. If I did, it didn't last long.

Bob: I've had it. I've had it happen for sure.

Myisha: How'd you navigate that?

Bob: You know, I say what I want in bed a lot. I use my words.

Myisha: So you're like, no.

Bob: And sometimes not even in a sex voice. If you're, if you're setting a boundary, you can't do it in your sex voice. You can't be like, no, don't do that. You have to be like, I don't like my top lip bitten.

Myisha: Right.

Bob: Then get back into it.

Myisha: It has to, like, cut through, 100 percent, it has to cut through.

Bob: Yeah, for sure. 100.

Myisha: Okay! So we want this person to communicate a little bit more what they want, maybe even describing their perfect kiss and how I think they just need more time. And this person is not getting enough time. And maybe the factor is the mouth breathing. But to your point, a good partner, somebody who is conscientious about what's going to give their partner pleasure, is willing to like, try, right?

Bob: Yeah, and there's a chance that you are not offering your partner something they want. So just starting from the conversation from that. "Hey, what's something you like? How do you, describe the perfect kiss to me?" Bada, bing, bada, bam, ba, boom. You do "describe the perfect head. What is it like when you what is the what is this perfect thing for you? What is the perfect blah, blah, blah," and then maybe they'll let you, because sometimes people are just nervous to talk about what they want, because they thought they'll be judged, or they feel like the person being asked this is like, oh so you don't like me. Oh, so you think I'm disgusting, you know.

Myisha: That's what a lot of people come back with sometimes, you know, which is disappointing, because I think if we all had more of your approach, your style of just like I'm giving you feedback, and then we're getting back into it, and it's not that big of a deal, especially if you correct to the thing that I asked you to do, like, then we're both happy, right? You know, it's not personal.

Bob: Also, if there's something I really like that you don't want to do, that's okay. I'll just get it somewhere else. Like, if, if you like, if I'm like, I do not like you to, don't go crazy on my nipples. Don't do that. They are, they're not sensitive in a way that feels good. They're sensitive in a way that's like, ouch. Like, literally, ouch! This is doing nothing for me in an erotic zone. It just, I'm just experiencing pain, and not an erotic pain, just like stepping on a Lego like, it's not hot, it just hurts. You know what I mean?

Myisha: Yes.

Bob: And if you really, but I have a partner who's like, I really love nipples. I'm like, well, baby, you got to get that somewhere else. I can't be there for you.

Myisha: This is off limits. Yeah.

Bob: But you deserve it! You deserve it. I can't offer it to you, but you do deserve it.

Myisha: Yeah. All right, so this person has some action items. I feel very good about that. I think we should move on to our last segment. I have three questions for you, and they are all related to sex, dating and relationships. You get to pick which one you want to answer. How's that sound?

Bob: Oh, so we're only doing one question.

Myisha: If you want, if you want to do more, you can if you like the question.

Bob: What's the normal format?

Myisha: Okay, normally people pick one, but then sometimes people are like, I like all those. So I'm gonna answer, you know, this one and that one.

Bob: Okay, well, let's, let's start with the one which feels apropos. What are my options again?

Myisha: Okay, here are your choices. A, what are you manifesting in your sex and love life for 2025? B, Have you ever had a crush or a misconnection while touring and what happened? And C, what's something that you can only get away with in drag, that you love doing?

Bob: Okey, dokey. Well, I can answer, actually, answer a lot of these really quickly. There's really nothing I do in drag, especially not sexually. This is all about sex, right? And relationships and love.

Myisha: I mean, yeah, however you want to interpret it.

Bob: I mean, I only hooked up in drag one time, and it wasn't fun for me. My body's so constricted with what I'm wearing, I'm not particularly comfortable. I can't even sit like this in a chair. I have to, like, sit on a stool. I'm wearing these nails that are, like, barely put on my fingers through tabs, so I can't really touch things. Like, I can't even, if I dig around on my purse, I'll be missing nails. My wig is, like, glued to my head, but it's also like, it's not like a wig that, like your mom would wear. It's like a big, heavy wig. I'm wearing a corset. I'm wearing, like fish nets. I'm wearing so many tights over before you can get to anything, any amount of genitalia. So that, so I don't really, I don't. I hooked one time in drag years ago at a restaurant I used to work at called Lucky Chang's. And, yeah, I don't think that, not I don't think, I know that I don't like hooking up in drag. It's just, it's just not for me. Missed connections on tour, yeah, for sure. I met a guy in Florida one time, and I was, like, low key obsessed, like, I was like, this is it like I am, this connection is so great. I know for a fact that this could certainly turn into love. I know it could. I just know. I just know it! I just know, like, I know, like, I know.

Myisha: Was he at the show?

Bob: I met him on Grindr and then he came to the show.

Myisha: Ah, okay.

Bob: And it was like, a weekend, like, a crazy weekend that we spent together because I had two or three shows, and he ended up, I'm polyamorous, but he's not. He's open. And I think that his form of polyamory is like, hey, we can, like, hook up with people, but if there's a connection, we gotta stop.

Myisha: Yeah.

Bob: And I think even he was, like, there's low key a connection here, like, there's low key fully a connection happening. And we can't do, we can't do this thing. We can still be friends. We cannot do this anymore. And I think about him a lot, it's, like, a lot, very often.

Myisha: Okay, so that's the, that's the afterward is that, like, there's no, it hasn't been, like, resolved.

Bob: I mean, there's a resolution. We just don't do anything anymore. We're still friends.

Myisha: You communicate still?

Bob: We communicate every once in a while. We've even worked together a few times and he's a really cool guy! And still, but I might also still be as, not might be, I am still as interested in him as I was like when I first met him. He's so, I'm, he's just it!

Myisha: It's just an instant connection.

Bob: Yeah, he is just, he is it.

Myisha: Have you ever had that before?

Bob: Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I mean me and my boyfriend, Jacob, is the first guy I ever dated. We're still dating, and we pretty much hit it off right away.

Myisha: I love that.

Bob: For sure.

Myisha: Yeah, did you want to answer all three?

Bob: What was the other one?

Myisha: The first one was, are, what are you manifesting in your sex and love life in 2025?

Bob: Oh, I don't really do manifesting? Is that, is that lame?

Myisha: No!

Bob: I mean, I know the idea of manifesting, maybe, maybe, maybe you all don't mean so literal, like, what are you manifesting? Like, I don't really. I think that I, manifesting does work to a degree, but I'm not religious, but as they say in the Bible, you know, Faith without works is dead. You know what I mean? So I don't know that I'm working towards anything specifically in my love life. I have some great sex and and I have fun. And, you know, I really enjoy myself when it comes to hooking up and being in these streets. So I'm pretty happy with where I am, to be honest, I'm manifesting more of what I got.

Myisha: That's what I was about to say!

Bob: I'm manifesting consistency!

Myisha: Yes! Well, I want that for you as well. It sounds like you are certainly in the groove.

Bob: As Madonna says, get into the groove! But I am manifesting that maybe someone, not my love life, but maybe that people go out and purchase my book. Harriet Tubman: Live In Concert. I've written a novel. This is not about my life. It's not a memoir. This is a novel, fiction piece that I've written about Harriet Tubman. In this book, Harriet Tubman comes back to life, and she's continuing her work as an abolitionist by writing a hip hop album.

Myisha: Amazing! How long did it take you to write that?

Bob: I'm embarrassed, and I will tell you, but I want you to know upfront that I'm embarrassed about this amount of time. It's about 260 pages, maybe 249 pages, and it took me four years. That is less than, that is less than a page every four days.

Myisha: No, but that's, I mean, it's a labor of love, though.

Bob: But also, I did this while filming three seasons of We're Here. I did this while doing several solo tours. I did this while doing a Sibling Rivalry tour. I wrote this while touring with Madonna. I wrote this book while doing all of those things. There was a lot happening in my life while this book was being written. So I wasn't just like, being lazy. There was a lot of work with this book, and I'm really, I'm genuinely incredibly proud of it, we already have some great reviews. I am so proud of this book. It is really good. You can, you can go to read the drag queen dot com, that is read the drag queen com right now to pre order the book. And you can get your physical copy in March, or you can even get your audible or your Kindle version in March.

Myisha: Amazing.

Bob: You can order it now.

Myisha: I was going to say pre orders are up now.

Bob: Pre orders are up now. Go to read the drag queen com.

Myisha: Okay. Well, thank you so much, Bob. Please tell people where they can find your other work. Now that we know where to go and pre order the book, where can they find you elsewhere?

Bob: You can go to bobthedragqueen.com, you can go to any, any social media app and type in Bob the drag queen. And if you want to see me live, you can go to see the drag queen dot com, so all my websites are the drag queen. See the drag queen to see me, read the drag queen to read my book, and Bob the drag queen dot com for everything else.

Myisha: Easy, you're a marketing genius.

Bob: Thank you for acknowledging that. I agree.

Myisha: All right, this has been so wonderful. I really appreciate you being here, and I hope you have a wonderful book release. I hope you're doing something fun.

Bob: It hasn't been set in stone yet. The release is not set in stone yet, but we do have something fun planned, yes. We're working toward it.

Myisha: Good, celebrate yourself. Thanks again!

Bob: My pleasure.

MUSIC

Myisha: And thank you for listening! Like I mentioned earlier, it's the last episode of the season. I know, I know! But I loved getting to answer your questions with so many amazing guests this year.

MUSIC/WATERFALL

Myisha Battle: I'm really, really glad that you have done the work to get to the other side and have shame free sex!

Heather Chelan: Thank you! It's like, oh, so this is what y'all been doing?!

Nick Smith: I need to know more context, because if the friend is just trying to have sex with the brother-in-law, and it's purely just sexual, who cares? Everyone needs to get dicked down once in a while.

Matteo Lane: Listen to this advice from a gay man living in Manhattan. Well, it's just sex! It doesn't mean anything.

Nick Smith: I mean!

Anna Lee: This is the first time we've ever experienced being having this like, really online dating be so the main focus of how we find partners, and so I think it's all learning, and I totally understand the frustration of it, but maybe if you are looking for a cesspool, I heard Tinder is a good one for it! (Laughter)

MUSIC

Myisha: If you missed any of these episodes, you can always go back to our feed to listen, but I want to encourage you all to continue the conversation amongst yourselves. Ask questions about sex, talk to your friends about sex and dating, share your experiences. There's value in that. If you've learned anything from "How's Your Sex Life?", you know that I myself have had challenges, my guests have had challenges, but we're able to come together and actually form a bond over the fact that we've gotten through some hard shit and come out the other side. And it's really difficult to get to that other side if you're not able to share your own experiences. So I just want to leave you with that nugget. Be sure that you're continuing the conversation in your community, and you know, know that I'm right there with you! If you miss me while I'm gone, there are tons of ways to stay in touch. You can check out my Real Love column for Time, where I write about modern dating and relationships. If you want to get some adult sex ed, head over to my website, myishabattle.com and check out my Better Sex E-zine. Each issue focuses on a particular topic, and I cover everything from communication to squirting. My website is also the place to go if you want to work together, that's myishabattle.com. Or if you want to keep things casual, follow me on Instagram @myishabattle. 

CREDITS

Myisha: "How's Your Sex Life?" is a KCRW original podcast. This episode was mixed by Nick Lampone. Our music was created by Carolyn Pennypacker Riggs. Special thanks to everyone at Women's Audio Mission, Arnie Seipel and Jennifer Ferro. And a big shout out to the team that makes this show happen. They'll introduce themselves on the way out.

Andrea (VO 3): Hey! This is Andrea Bautista, producer of KCRW's How's Your Sex Life.

Myriam-Fernanda (VO 1): This is production assistant Myriam-Fernanda Alcala Delgado.

Gina (VO 2): And this is Gina Delvac, the executive producer of How's Your Sex Life.