Situationships full transcript
Dylan McKeever: I think situationship is, I think it's become like a negative term, and I think it is. I think it is negative.
Myisha Battle: And I don't agree with that.
Dylan: Okay, I see.
Myisha: Yeah.
Dylan: You're trying to reclaim it.
Myisha: I want to reclaim it as a valid relationship!
MUSIC
Myisha: Welcome back to KCRW's How's Your Sex Life? Your sex and dating survival guide. I'm your host Myisha Battle and I'm here to tell you that whatever you envision your sex life to be is possible. I've seen so many people turn their dream sex life into reality, so never give up hope. Today we're gonna hear your questions about non monogamy and fixing a dead bedroom, and I'm here with Dylan McKeever. Hi, Dylan!
Dylan: Hi, how's it going?
Myisha: It's going. I'm actually really stoked to have you here. I've been following you on Instagram and I’m a little bit of a fangirl here.
Dylan: Aw thanks. I'm so happy to be here. I listened to a bunch of episodes before.
Myisha: Oh, amazing, amazing. Thank you.
Dylan: Everyone, everyone you have, is so smart. And I'm like, I don't know if I'm qualified for this kind of —
Myisha: You're definitely qualified for this.
Dylan: Okay,
Myisha: And let me, let me tell everyone why.
Dylan: Okay, go for it.
Myisha: Dylan, you're a comedian, an artist who creates content about being trans, dating, and queer identity. You're also funny as hell. And you have to be smart to be funny, in my opinion, and I really love your recent video series on T4T coded relationships.
Dylan: Thanks! That's, what a nice compliment. Thank you.
Myisha: All right, so we have some questions from your audience, which were all amazing, but before we get into giving advice to them, I have one question for you. How's your sex life?
Dylan: It's non-existent right now.
Myisha: Okay, okay.
Dylan: Which I think I'm coming around to being fine with. I was actually, you know, like listening to all the episodes before. I was like, oh, this is more common than I thought it was. I went through, like, a big heartbreak last year, end of last year, and then I had some, like, health scares. So I was like, very low for a long time.
Myisha: Totally.
Dylan: And then I was like, why don't I add some anxiety about being single for fun?
Myisha: Yes, that's super common.
Dylan: But then I think this summer, late summer, I've been like, it's fine. I don't care anymore.
Myisha: You've reached the apathy stage.
Dylan: Yeah, but it feels good.
Myisha: Yeah, yeah.
Dylan:Where I'm like, whatever, whatever happens, happens. Who cares?
Myisha: How did you survive Pride?
Dylan: Pride? My friend was like we're gonna get you laid. It was a friend of mine out of town, and that was their goal, and it didn't happen. I'm like, I don't, who cares?
Myisha: Yeah.
Dylan: You know, I feel like I'm at least right now, very zenned out about it, where I'm just shrugging my shoulders. But I also had a really fun pride, you know, a lot of time with friends. And how was your pride?
Myisha: It was good! It was low key. I can't really do crowds, so I like to honor pride month with movies, stories, just kind of letting myself feel.
Dylan: I feel like that's what Halloween is like.
Myisha: Yeah, yeah, I do the same thing.
Dylan: Pride is Halloween for you now.
Myisha: 100 percent. I think anyone over 40 might identify with this feeling.
Dylan: Yeah.
Myisha: Maybe younger.
Dylan: Movies, popcorn.
Myisha: Community, yeah. Well, great. Okay, so we are going to get into our first question. And just a reminder, our questions are voiced by actors to keep everyone anonymous.
Question 1: Why can't people accept that you can be romantic and casual? Why does it have to mean more?
Myisha: I love this question. I truly, truly do. What do you think about it? Just first glance.
Dylan: I think we're just locked into a set of expectations that's brought on a lot by like hetero life, I think. You know, I've been talking to a lot of friends that are mostly hetero and opening up their relationships. And the amount of jealousy and expectation that comes, especially from men, feels where I'm like, oh it's, it's the programming. It's the sort of like, I must have you and just me, sort of like gets activated. But then it's, it's in all this, it's not just a hetero thing, it just seeps into everywhere. Also, I think when you have feelings, you do dumb things.
Myisha: Feelings are responsible for dumbness.
Dylan: Yeah, yeah. All my worst decisions happen because of feelings, I think.
Myisha: Fair enough.
Dylan: So some combination of that, you know, where you're like, I can't control myself. This has to be serious because I have feelings.
Myisha: Right. Well, that's like, yeah, that's the intersection of the expectation and the dumbness. I think that underneath this question also is some sex negativity as well. Like, not on behalf of the person who asked, but but like, there's a layer of this where, culturally, we think, if you are having sex with someone and you are not in a relationship with them, they are disposable. You have no respect for them. They are just a person who you know, you kick to the curb or whatever. I feel like, there's an idea that that's a disposable type of relationship, and people really get uncomfortable when you're like, no, I actually care and respect this person, but we're not in a relationship. So we have sex and we hang out, but we're not moving it in the direction of locking it down and having this monogamous arrangement. So I think there's a lot of cultural stuff under this.
Dylan: Yeah, no one wants to have fun anymore.
Myisha: That's true, and it should be more fun.
Dylan: No one wants to work anymore. No one wants to have fun anymore either.
Myisha: No one's having fun.
Dylan: No one wants to do anything.
Myisha: Everyone's just lying around being very bored.
Dylan: Being upset.
Myisha: And upset.
Dylan: I think that's accurate. [Laughter]
Myisha: I want to just affirm this person's desire to have romantic relationships with people that they are casual with and I actually want, 2024 is almost over. 2025!
Dylan: Don't say that.
Myisha: I want to project into the future. 2025 is all about the casual romance. It's about taking your little bit of savings and buying a one way ticket to Paris and losing yourself in a romance. It's about going to a cafe in whatever city that you're in without your phone and sitting there being pleasantly surprised to chat up a handsome or beautiful stranger.
Dylan: Do these things happen?
Myisha: I want them to happen! I want them to happen. And I know people want them to happen, like, at people's core, they want romantic relationships, and they want good sex. So what this person is sort of getting at is why are we so fucking uptight about that kind of relationship? And I think we just need to not be.
Dylan: Yeah, I agree. I've had them! It's great.
Myisha: It's great. When you look back on those types of, we'll just label them situationships, because that's kind of what this is. At the end of the day.
Dylan: You think so?
Myisha: I think so.
Dylan: Okay I don't, I don't agree.
Myisha: Okay, tell me what your definition of situationship is.
Dylan: I think situationship is, I think it's become like a negative term. And I think it is, I think it is negative. Because it's, I think people use it when there aren't clear expectations or boundaries in the relationship, and especially when one person wants it another person doesn't. Right? Or?
Myisha: I just think it's any entanglement that you have that is not clearly defined. It's casual. You have sex, but there's romance there. You still maybe go on dates. You still maybe like, text each other memes and like, have that kind of banter and dynamic.
Dylan: I feel like it's been imbued with a negative connotation.
Myisha: Me too, and I don't agree with that.
Dylan: Okay, I see.
Myisha: Yes.
Dylan: You're trying to reclaim it.
Myisha: I want to reclaim it as a valid relationship!
Dylan: Yeah.
Myisha: So, thinking back on the relationships that were kind of like this, casual and romantic —
Dylan: I feel like they're ongoing for me.
Myisha: Okay.
Dylan: Yeah, but I wouldn't call it a situationship.
Myisha: All right.
Dylan: Call it maybe like a, you know, every once in a while nice thing. I think it would just call it a relationship, like it's some kind of relationship.
Myisha: Yeah.
Dylan: Yeah.
Myisha: I think situationships are relationships. But I also fully endorse calling whatever is happening in your life what you want.
Dylan: Okay, okay. What's your sign?
Myisha: Virgo.
Dylan: Cool.
Myisha: You?
Dylan: I'm a Taurus.
Myisha: Oh yeah. We go. We go, well, in our like, cozy way.
Dylan: Earth, yeah.
Myisha: Yeah.
Dylan: I love earth signs.
Myisha: Yeah, same I have a lot of good, good Tauri, Taurans.
Dylan: I think it's the best sign in the zodiac. Not to —
Myisha: Taurus?
Dylan: Yeah.
Myisha: Hmm.
Dylan: Huh? [Laughter] What a virgo response.
Myisha: Yes.
Dylan: Like, oh, you think getting nothing done is a good quality? [Laughter]
Myisha: I literally have a tattoo of taking care of business on my body.
[Laughter]
Dylan: You think not taking care of business is a good quality? NTCB?
Myisha: Yes.
Dylan: I actually have one that says that. I've got the NTCB.
Dylan: Yeah.
Myisha: I could, I could amend it. I could amend it. Let's get into our next question, because I think, I think this person who is struggling with romance and casual should, their friends, should just let them be.
Myisha: Yeah. Our next question is from a listener who is struggling with a sexless relationship.
Question 2: I adore my partner, but between my body dysmorphia and his SSRIs, our bedroom is dead. Help?!
Myisha: Mm. I've definitely had clients in similar positions to this person, and sometimes I think it helps just to take the pressure off of having sex when you're dealing with a lot individually and as a couple. And for anybody who doesn't know SSRIs are a group of medications that are used to treat depression, and a lot of them do carry these side effects of lowering libido.
Dylan: Oh, no, doubled up.
Myisha: Exactly.
Dylan: Yeah, I think taking the pressure off would be the first step. I guess. I haven't been in relationships long enough for it to get to bed death, which is usually something I imagine happens later on typically?
Myisha: Yeah it can! It depends on, you know, sometimes this could happen, like pretty early on, if each person gets kind of hit with a big life thing.
Dylan: Yeah, right.
Myisha: You know, this person is struggling with body dysmorphia, they don't specifically say, like, the root cause of that, and there can be a lot of causes for body dysmorphia, but like, for clients who are transitioning, or like, kind of understanding a new identity for themselves in relation to another person, that can be really challenging. Understanding, like how to approach their body sexually, or like what they want, or how they want it, all of those things can sometimes get called into question.
Dylan: Right, just hearing you say that, I'm like, oh, yeah, I have, I have been in this situation actually. I'm like, wait.
Myisha: Yeah! What was your experience of those?
Dylan: We broke up.
Myisha: Oh shit! Well.
Dylan: But it's fine.
Myisha: Yeah, no. I mean, sometimes, sometimes it gets real, right? And it's, it's hard.
Dylan: Yeah, but I think I, at least, for me at the time I realized I needed to be, like, in an exploration zone, and I was actually disappointed by that, where I didn't want to be in an exploration. I was like, very much ready to settle down. And then was sort of like, coming to terms with, like, I need to go, like, be wild and try out a lot of different things with different people. And I hated it. But then, I mean, once I accepted it, I'm like, okay, this is what has to happen, and then, and then it was for the best I think.
Myisha: Did that process of exploring, was that part of like, reconciling body dysmorphia in any way?
Dylan: Yeah, I think so. When I transitioned my libido changed a lot, and my attraction changed a lot, and it was sort of like, oh no! I thought just transitioning would be the hardest thing and coming out. And then it was like, there's a whole new set of problems that I have to face, which is how life is, and this is why life is so wonderful. The problems never stop coming, you know?
Myisha: Yeah, no, I mean for this couple specifically I think individual support is so important. Did you have therapists you were working with, or just like community support, as you were kind of like, whoa, this is really unexpected, and I'm maybe needing changes I didn't anticipate.
Dylan: Yeah, I had a therapist, and I don't know how much that helped. But I think it was the therapist.
Myisha: Fair.
Dylan: I think it was the therapist. I think.
Myisha: Sure.
Dylan: I'm a huge advocate of therapy, but I think it was the therapist. And then, yeah, I mean, community support that was helpful. Hearing similar stories was deeply helpful. And I hope that this situation, they can also find support because it's, I mean, I feel like these, the issues that they're facing are pretty common, right?
Myisha: Totally, I mean, so many of my clients are on SSRIs, and it tanks their libido, not everybody. So it's, it's definitely something that they can look into, the partner can look into and see if changing medication gives them more access to libido. But then the question asker also has their own challenges that they need support for. And like, this may be a process that takes you a long time.
Dylan: Yeah and overcoming the shame might be a big part of it.
Myisha: Yeah, usually.
Dylan: But then, I don't know, as soon as you start talking to anyone, it's like, oh, everyone's on SSRIs.
Myisha: Yeah.
Dylan: Everyone, everybody hates their body.
Myisha: 100 percent. [Laughs]
Dylan: Cool, I’m not alone here.
Myisha: Yeah, that's the thing, I think, too. Like, understanding, you know, working with a therapist can help you understand too like, what are these things that you're placing value on? That may not be as essential or like are things that you can work with instead of working against.
Dylan: Hopefully they're talking to their partner.
Myisha: That too! Communication about this is super key.
Dylan: Yeah because I'm hoping things could be fun eventually. I don't know, especially with the body dysmorphia thing, because I feel like there's so many fun ways to explore it. Maybe, you know? You talked about, sort of like, you know, ways where I go, oh, I don't feel good having sex this way, but I'm like, what if you tried a different way?
Myisha: Right.
Dylan: And maybe it'll be really fun. I don't know.
Myisha: Yes, I think body dysmorphia is a state where you can only think of the things you don't like.
Dylan: Yeah,
Myisha: Right. It's, it's like, I don't see myself, maybe the way my partner sees me, the world sees me. All I see are the things that I want to change.
Dylan: Yeah,
Myisha: That aren't working for me. And then the flip side of that is sort of embracing that there are different ways to see and also different ways to be with your body.
Dylan: Yeah you can be like, I never get to wear the hat, and I hate it. And then you're like, but what if I wore the hat?
Myisha: Yes! And words are really important, you know, I think that also this person working with a therapist might start to learn new language, to approach like, I don't think that for everyone, that accepting your body is just going to be like, where you get to overnight.
Dylan: Yeah, for sure.
Myisha: It's a process and it waxes and wanes
Dylan: And it never ends.
Myisha: And it never ends!
Dylan: Just like the moon.
Myisha: Yeah! And like, sometimes under a full moon, I feel great with my body.
Dylan: Yeah.
Myisha: But other times not so much. And I want things to change, but I think having the acceptance that your acceptance will change, does that make sense?
Dylan: Yeah no I was gonna say that.
Myisha: Okay.
Dylan: Because I feel like that's something I've come to terms with, is that things change. You know, I don't know. Whenever I get in a bad feeling, I'm like, this is forever, right? For sure, this one's forever. I'm never gonna get out of this hole. And then next thing you know, you're not in the hole, and you're like, well, miraculously, it's changed. So.
Myisha: Well, change is coming, I think for this question asker.
Dylan: I hope so! Yeah, I can see it.
MUSIC
Myisha: We're gonna take a quick break. When we come back, we're gonna get to more of your questions in a speed round. Don't go anywhere.
BREAK
Myisha: And we're back! Dylan, we’re going to get into some more questions in a speed round. We'll take turns reading these. So why don't you kick us off?
Dylan: Okay yeah, this is what people like. Real curt, succinct answers to their very personal problems. [Laughter] Okay, first question, how do I date while still following Covid harm reduction?
Myisha: Oh well, I love this one, because I talk to my clients all the time about risk with dating. And for those of you who choose not to pay attention, because you have the privilege to, we are still in a fucking Covid pandemic, and we have to be careful. So, my short answer to this is put in as many measures as you can to screen your dates and to let them know what your needs are. So keep up with what people were doing during the deep pandemic, as you know we can refer to it, with video dates first implement mask protocol, let the person know that you, you know really require and need that. And then, as things progress, also communicating your needs in terms of like, if you start to see this person regularly, letting you know when they have perhaps gone to a big concert and not worn a mask, or done any big traveling and not worn a mask like you need to be in the loop about what you're stepping into in terms of your risk, and you are not out of line for asking these things. You are 100% in the right to ask for these things and to have someone not give you any shit for it.
Dylan: Yeah, I agree. I feel like a good first date is going on a little walk.
Myisha: Yes.
Dylan: You know? Through the botanical gardens or whatever.
Myisha: My fave.
Dylan: And that's at least a little more Covid safe.
Myisha: Totally. You can still do outdoor stuff!
Dylan: Yeah.
Myisha: We're coming up on fall, but like we're still good.
Dylan: Yeah, want to keep going?
Myisha: Yeah, let's go to the next one. Okay. How do I come to better terms with my partner dating other people?
Dylan: I don't know! [Laughs] I don't know, man. You know, just embrace that you have no control over anything. And I think that's what dating is all about. It's sort of like this practice in realizing how little control you have over any situation, besides your own reaction or whatever they say.
Myisha: Totally.
Dylan: I feel like, this sorry, I'm going off topic, but I feel like lately I've been going on really excellent first dates that feel very connected and fun, and then very quickly the person's like, anyway, I'm not ready to date, so I gotta go. And I'm like, all right, well, that's that. And it's sort of like, well, I don't have any control over this, and I'm just gonna let it go, I guess.
Myisha: The only thing I would add is, like, people sometimes think they're ready for non monogamy when they're not, so.
Dylan: Like, 100 percent of the time you mean? [Laughter]
Myisha: So yeah, yeah. For what unfolds, for the emotion, like, no one's ready.
Dylan: No one's ready.
Myisha: No one's ready. But also, like, not everybody's built for it.
Dylan: Yeah, I guess not.
Myisha: Yeah. So I guess that's my point. Is that, like, no one's ready, but sometimes you realize, not only were you not ready and couldn't see all the things that get stirred up by it, but you're also just not a good candidate,
Dylan: And that's okay!
Myisha: And it's okay. So that's what I want to offer this person, is just like, 100 percent think about the things you can control. I like having, you know, or like encouraging my clients to have leaving and coming back, rituals that kind of make you feel special and more grounded in the relationships if they're going on a date. It helps to sometimes quell anxiety that, like, you know you have your special thing that you do with them when they leave, or, like, when you know they're going on a date with somebody else, and you have your special thing when they come back. Or you know you have something planned.
Dylan: Like, for yourself, you mean?
Myisha: With them.
Dylan: Oh with them, okay!
Myisha: As like, as like a place to reconnect.
Dylan: And get some carrot cake,
Myisha: Yeah.
Dylan: At the cafe together or whatever.
Myisha: Yeah a little something.
Dylan: Okay.
Myisha: Or just like, words, things that you say to each other to reaffirm and reassure.
Dylan: I said carrot cake, because I'm a Taurus.
Myisha: Uh huh, yeah, no, I got it.
Dylan: You were thinking that as I said that?
Myisha: Yeah, I'm like Dylan and her Taurus ways!
Dylan: Okay, yeah.
Myisha: So,
Dylan: Your thing would be like, let's you know,
Myisha: Spreadsheets.
Dylan: Our bullet journal needs updating. [Laughter] That's what a Virgo would do?
Myisha: Yes.
Dylan: You wanna take a look at this, yeah, sheet document? [Laughter]
Myisha: I've created a spreadsheet of where you will be at all times, and where I will be, and where there are points of connection for us in 15 minute intervals or more.
Dylan: Oh, wow, that sounds great.
Myisha: Oh, so organic. Okay, so this person, I think, has a couple things to think about. Just, was this something that you wanted? And if so, can you build things into the relationship that make you feel reassured? You should also be getting your own support in the form of therapy as well, someone who is, you know, well versed in working with clients who are non monogamous. And there's also a lot of stuff that you're not gonna be able to control, because you are not your partner, and you have decided that your partner is going to date, so they're gonna do that their way.
Dylan: Yeah I mean, you don't have any control in a monogamous relationship either.
Myisha: 100 percent. Yes.
Dylan: Your advice was better, though. I feel like you —
Myisha: No!
Dylan: You're more supportive.
Myisha: The nuance.
Dylan: Grounded and I'm like, just let go of any expectation. What are we gonna do? What are you gonna do? There's no predicting the future.
Myisha: All right, let's do the next one.
Dylan: I'm recently single. Do people still play it cool? Should you feign not being bothered, or be honest if you have a crush? No! My first instinct is, no. You want to, you're gonna live life not expressing how you feel?
Myisha: That part, right? I feel like that's a big thing.
Dylan: Yeah! Right. I know it can be hard for people, because you want to be guarded and want to protect yourself and not be vulnerable. But, I mean, what is dating but not being vulnerable?
Myisha: I know! Well, you know, as they say, many, many times a season on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, no risk, no reward, and they're talking about opening up.
Dylan: Yeah, same advice for rugby, right? [Laughs]
Myisha: Yeah, no it's very coachy, but that's, that's the world that The Bachelor and Bachelorette inhabit. But no, I mean being vulnerable, being open, like, that's the stuff of relationships. That's how you get to the next round.
Dylan: Yeah, and ideally, you want to look back and be like, even if it doesn't go well, you want to, like, look back and be like, I acted with authenticity and was myself and expressed how I felt. Here's the thing, though, I think people do still play it cool, because that's part of the question. So you might not run into these same people that are expressing how they feel. I know this from personal experience. Being on the receiving end of a people pleaser was crazy.
Myisha: Yeah you could clearly feel that they just wanted to be whoever you wanted them to be.
Dylan: I'm like, oh, people just say the opposite of what they feel. And I'm like that's nuts. This is earth sign talk, also.
Myisha: You could clearly feel that they just wanted to be whoever you wanted them to be?
Dylan: I think, I realized more towards the end where I'm like, I don't even know what was real.
Myisha: Oh.
Dylan: They were just saying stuff. People just be saying whatever.
Dylan: Yeah, air signs. Me dating air signs. Or, like, you just say stuff!
Myisha: Yeah. Oh, totally, Oh, wow.
Dylan: You're just saying things to please me, I think, but you don't actually feel it.
Myisha: Yeah.
Dylan: It's strange.
Myisha: It's a hard to pin down energy.
Dylan: Yeah, so get ready for that listener.
Myisha: There's definitely going to be people, yeah, who play the game because they think that dating is a game.
Dylan: Yeah or people that date for sport sort of a thing. I'm like, ah, I couldn't even conceive of it.
Myisha: Yeah, it's a numbers game. All you gotta do is get out there and —
Dylan: Gross. I mean, not to yuck someone's yum. Do whatever you want I guess.
Myisha: No, yeah, I think, I think for this person, they're, they're embarking on dating for a little, for after not being in it for a little while, right? So.
Dylan: Yeah.
Myisha: They're up, they're up for some interesting experiences. But I think if you, if they hold this idea of authenticity, vulnerability and honesty kind of first and foremost when they're connecting with people, not only are you not going to have any regrets because you were yourself, but you're, it's a good gauge, like, if you show up that way and people can't meet you in that, then that tells you a lot. Yeah.
Dylan: Yeah. I'm nodding my head on the podcast.
Myisha: All right. Well, that was, that was that we got through all of the lightning round. It's time for our last segment, and I have three questions lined up for you that are all related to sex and dating.
Dylan: Okay.
Myisha: And you get to pick which one you answer. You ready?
Dylan: Yeah!
Myisha: Okay. Here are your choices. A, what plant would your ex be and why? B, what is the most liberating thing you've learned about yourself in relationships and dating? Or C, what is the most important thing for you in a partner? Looks, smell or sense of humor?
Dylan: Oh, these are such fun questions. I want to do all of them.
Myisha: You can!
Dylan: Well, let's start with the second one. Can you repeat it really quick?
Myisha: What's the most liberating thing you've learned about yourself in relationships and dating?
Dylan: Oh, I mean, this one's fun. It's sweet. I think it's having a steely resolve and being myself and realizing that. So this sort of goes back to that last question where I'm like, I couldn't even conceive of saying things I don't mean in relationship. Or people pleasing. Maybe it's my own privilege not to have like, people pleasing tendencies, but I don't know it always feels good to look back with satisfaction in the way that I act. I mean, not all the time, but most of the time! Yeah, feeling like, okay, I acted with integrity and authenticity and was telling the truth the whole time, you know?
Myisha: And whatever happened as a result of that, just happened. Yeah.
Dylan: Yeah, whether it goes well or poorly, at least I don't have to add the added thing of like I'm a fucking liar, whatever. [Laughter]
Myisha: Yeah, it's not helpful. Well, were there any others that you want to answer? What plant would your ex be and why?
Dylan: Probably a tumbleweed. [Laughter]
Myisha: Oh, damn. Dry and dusty. Rolls through town and then rolls out.
Dylan: Yeah, that's a quick one.
Myisha: What's the most important thing for you in a partner? Looks, smell or sense of humor?
Dylan: Sense of humor.
Myisha: Totally.
Dylan: Easy!
Myisha: Yeah.
Dylan: But I am shallow, so the other two are also very important.
Myisha: Oh 100 percent.
Dylan: Yeah, very superficial as a Taurus.
Myisha: So ranked order would be sense of humor, then what?
Dylan: Looks? I can scrub them down if they smell bad. [Laughter]
Myisha: Thought you meant, like, facially.
Dylan: Looks, I don't know, thinking, like, looks over smell, because I'm like, if I smell bad, I'll just hose them down.
Myisha: I will never date a smelly person again. I think I'm, I actually think I'm hyper, whatever the word is, like, I have an acute sense of smell. And there were times I look back and I'm like, oh, I could have saved my soul, my little baby soul, if I had just listened to my nose.
Dylan: You dated some stinkers?
Myisha: Well, I don't think they stank. I think their smell was unappealing to me, and I pushed forward anyway, and they were monsters.
Dylan: Really?
Myisha: Yeah.
Dylan: You ever say anything?
Myisha: Yeah.
Dylan: Are these men?
Myisha: Yeah!
Dylan: Oh, my god. How did I know? [Laughter] I've never dated a man long term, so I don't know about this stinky problem, yeah.
Myisha: I mean, sometimes it's just a deodorant choice, but sometimes it's like, no there's something like rotten.
Dylan: Oh no.
Myisha: In your core.
Dylan: I'm so sorry. Okay, that's, yeah.
Myisha: That's okay. I should have known! How would I have known?
Dylan: Hey, you learn a new thing every day, one step at a time.
MUSIC
Myisha: Dylan, this has been so fun.
Dylan: Yeah, it went by so quick!
Myisha: It did.
Dylan: Aww.
Myisha: But before you go, can you tell people where to find you?
Dylan: Yeah! I'm at deemakes, D - E - E - M - A - K - E - S, on Instagram and TikTok. Just go on the gram and you'll find stuff.
Myisha: Yeah, I'm so glad to have you here. Thank you.
Dylan: Yeah, thanks so much! This was great.
MUSIC
Myisha: And thank you for listening. If you want advice about sex or dating, remember to drop us an email or voice memo at sexlife at kcrw dot org. We'll keep you anonymous.
Myisha: How's Your Sex Life is a KCRW original podcast. Our producer is Andrea Bautista. Our executive producer is Gina Delvac. This episode was mixed by Hope Brush. Our music was created by Carolyn Pennypacker Riggs. Special thanks to Women's Audio Mission, Myriam-Fernanda Alcala Delgado, Arnie Seipel and Jennifer Ferro. And a big shout out to our voice actors. We'll let them introduce themselves on the way out.
VO 1: This is Bennett Purser. Thanks for listening.
VO 2: This is Adria Kloke. See you next week for another episode of KCRW’s How’s Your Sex Life.