Is Polyamory For Us? full transcript

Myisha Battle: Hey, it's Myisha. We know this election season has been a lot, so to help us get through the week, we invited one of our past favorite guests. So take a break from your political podcast, pause your doom scrolling and enjoy this heartfelt episode with Brandon Kyle Goodman.

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Myisha: Have you ever followed someone's bad relationship advice and what happened?

Brandon Kyle Goodman: [Laughs] Well, that's a no, never.

Myisha: Not me!

Brandon: Me? Girl, if it smells off, I ain't doing it.

MUSIC

Myisha: Welcome back to KCRW's How's Your Sex Life? Your sex and dating survival guide. I'm your host, Myisha Battle, and I'm here to tell you that we're all in this mess together, and sometimes we are the mess, and that's okay. And I'm here today with Brandon Kyle Goodman, it's so good to see you again and have you back on the show.

Brandon: I'm so excited to be here. How are you?

Myisha: Oh so good, so good. So much has changed since we were last together. You have a new podcast, so I'd love for you to tell people about it.

Brandon: Yes, I have a new podcast. It's called Tell Me Something Messy. It's based off of the Instagram series I've been doing for the last four years called Messy Mondays and all about, you know, how do we destroy shame around sex, by talking about sex but with heart and humor. So a lot of laughter, but then a lot of room for some vulnerability and some, I hope, expansive conversations around things that we've been raised to deem taboo or not for polite company, quote, unquote.

Myisha: All things we love.

Brandon: Yes.

Myisha: Well, you know that I have a question for you, and you already know what that question is, right?

Brandon: Oh my goodness. What is it?

Myisha: How's your sex life?

Brandon: Honestly, she's fabulous.

Myisha: Okay,

Brandon: I'm, how long am I into my little hoe journey? It's like, maybe, like five years now, of like sexual liberation, and I feel like I finally am comfortable and meeting myself where I'm at, which is lovely. So I'm not, you know, I think when I first started poking at my liberation. It was all about like, well, what, what am I supposed to be, and what are other people doing, and am I supposed to be like them? And I actually just finished interviewing Emily Nagoski, who wrote, Come As You Are, which, if you haven't read it, obviously, is fantastic. But one of my favorite parts about her book is the end, she talks about the map versus the terrain, and how a lot of us will try and believe the map more than the actual terrain. And we'll try and fit ourselves to become the map, instead of respecting what the terrain is, who we are, what our experiences are, and validating that. So I'm in that space where I'm like, I love the terrain, and, you know, whatever it is, I'm pro, I'm for it.

Myisha: That's great. Yeah, Emily was on, How's Your Sex Life? It was a fantastic interview.

Brandon: Oh, I bet.

Myisha: Hyping her forever! I loved Come As You Are when I read it, and just before this call, sent it as a recommendation to a client, so yeah.

Brandon: Oh my goodness, love it. I literally got my haircut last week, before I interviewed her and told my barber, I was like, get this book. Get this book!

Myisha: Yeah, it's a great like, yeah. Anytime you're finding yourself in a conversation about sex, it's just such an easy like, maybe you should start here.

Brandon; Check this out, yeah. A thousand percent, a thousand percent. How's your sex life?

Myisha: Oh, it's good. It's good. So I've been with my partner for six years, and I would say that the sex we have is always, it's always top notch.

Brandon: I love that!

Myisha: Like, no notes, no notes.

Brandon: I love that!

Myisha: Yeah. I like that there are like surprises still, I like that we're playful. I like that we have just a sexy vibe in our house together. You know?

Brandon: Yes it's beautiful, cuz sex is not just about the bedroom, right?

Myisha: Yeah!

Brandon: It's the quality of the connection and the experience with each other more so than the quantity I would imagine.

Myisha: Yes, yes! So it's more about the quality over quantity these days, and I'm all about that as you know, someone with periodic back and hip pains. [Laughs]

Brandon: Yes listen, me and my physical therapists are very close. Listen, these hips, this lower back, the body's bodying, okay!

Myisha: But pleasure is like so, it's so necessary.

Brandon: It's so, it's everything. It's such a beautiful release. Pleasure in all forms is such an underrated necessity.

Myisha: Mhm. All right, well, let's get started! And just a quick reminder, our questions are voiced by actors to keep everyone anonymous.

Question 1
TK TK TK

Brandon: I mean, pack your bags like. [Laughter]

Myisha: You know!

Brandon: You know, if they don't want to have a conversation, that's kind of on them, but don't continue to keep yourself in jail. You're literally saying I'm ready. Sometimes there's confusion, but if you're like, I'm ready for this to be over, and I have the reasons, right? The trust was broken and we haven't been able to rebuild it. Whether or not that other person wants to have the conversation as much as we love them, is kind of to me, irrelevant, especially if they're the person who created the unsafety in the space. And so you know if to me, if my partner has decided to disregard me, then I, not that I have to disregard them, but then, like, if you chose you, then I get to choose me in this moment. And choosing me in this moment is saying that I have to go and so, you know, if they don't want to have the conversation, write them a nice little letter, send them a cute little email, get your bags packed and go. And go with, you know, understanding that you've kept your side of the street clean because you tried to have the conversation, you did everything you could to keep it sound and safe but take care of yourself.

Myisha: To that point of taking care of oneself, betrayal trauma is real!

Brandon: Yeah.

Myisha: So I think it's really important for anybody who has suffered a betrayal, whether it's cheating or you find out your spouse has a secret bank account, or, you know, made some funny financial moves without you knowing, like that betrayal,

Brandon: I'm gonna fight. Oh, you said that, that makes me want to swing. What? We got money, I don't know about?! [Laughter]

Myisha: People do it! People do it, and it's a betrayal, right? It's not being fully honest. And what that means, you know, in terms of it being a trauma, is that your body goes through the same things it would go through in a traumatic event. Now this person has chosen to you know, in the past, they reopened the door. I don't know what their healing process was around that, but it takes a lot, I would argue, to take someone back after experiencing betrayal trauma, and I'm hoping that there was some repair there. But if there wasn't, that's maybe even more reason to bolster you leaving without having a full on conversation like, yeah, if this person was unable to recognize the hurt that they caused and make real strides to repair and get both of you back to a place of like you said, safety.

Brandon: Yeah.

Myisha: This is not a person who has your heart in mind. They're not taking care of your heart. So in that instance, I would fully agree with you, Brandon, that like they're well within their rights to just pack up and go.

Brandon: Yeah, betrayal's hard. And it was a double betrayal, right? Because it's not just your partner, but it's also your friend.

Myisha: Yes.

Brandon: And so that's a double, that's a double whammy.

Myisha: Yeah, did you lose the friend over that? You know, like, that's painful.

Brandon: For sure.

Myisha: So much going on. Well, I hope this person does take our advice. I don't think there's any other advice! [Laughter]

Brandon: Get out. Get out, pack your little bag, your little away bag, and get out. But sending lots of love to that person, because that's, you know, it's we say that it's hard when you love somebody to just get out.

Myisha: Yeah, totally, totally.

Brandon: Make the exit strategy.

Myisha: Been there.

Brandon: Yes.

Myisha: Okay, so this is our next question. It's from someone who heard our episode with you earlier this year, and they want to follow up. They have something they want to say, let's hear it.

Question 2
TK TK TK

Myisha: So we've got a lot here.

Brandon: So many layers.

Myisha: We've got someone who feels inexperienced, who has really built a life that they love with strong community. Great job, is feeling good about all of their aspects of life, except their romantic life. I would say, I'm going to push back on them, saying, I'm going to preempt you saying that you know you don't need romantic love. I would never, I would never tell someone that, like.
Brandon: No.

Myisha: It's such an added value to your life to have that experience, if that's something that you want, and that's what this person is saying that they want so.

Brandon: And ready for, the person is saying I'm ready. So yeah, of course it's a value. If it's something that you want and are ready for, then it's absolutely a value.

Myisha: What do you think about their feeling insecure about going forward into the dating world, not having that much sexual experience, and then navigating that of like, I want sex because sex is fun, but I also want love and that tension that sometimes people feel when they're they're looking for something long term, but also really understand the value of sex, and they're also dealing with some identity issues, right? Because this person is also like, well, I like sex. I know that I have in the past, but maybe I'm not, you know, your typical sexual person, maybe I'm something else. Maybe it's not asexual. Maybe it's something I would offer graysexual.

Brandon: Yeah, I was thinking maybe even demisexual, because it sounds like you want sex, which doesn't quite fall into the asexual label. And by the way, labels, I agree with this person, like labels are, I think, are for us, or should be for us to get closer to the community and to understand ourselves better. But it doesn't, you know, like it's not whatever you label yourself is fine. You know it should be about you trying to understand yourself better and it can shift, and it can morph and it can change, but ultimately, you are you, and that's what matters the most. I think that it's not an easy answer, and I'm leaning into the fact that when people ask for, like, the practical that I just want to frame, that it's not going to be the answer you want. Because I think what we all want is, and maybe I'm putting words in your mouth, but like, for me, it's like, wave that magic wand and make it happen now, okay? Or give me, like, the checklist you do, step 1, 2, 3, and boom, I'm fucking, you know, like, it's just not, like, that's ideal. And I wish, I wish that it was so simple. But we are not simple, right? As humans, as people, as individuals, we're not simple. And so we can't expect that our journey to sexual liberation will be simple. There's too much complexities that we have been swimming in for our whole life before we even go I'm aware, and I want this thing like there's so much to undo. So I think you have to have grace for yourself as you fumble, and you have to be willing to get it wrong, this is not going to be a perfect exploration, that it will be imperfect, and that that's part of it, and that at times it will be uncomfortable. Uncomfortable and unsafe are not the same thing, right? So we never want you to be unsafe, but it is okay to be uncomfortable. Don't shy away. In fact, lean in, ask more questions, get a little more curious, because I think we have to admit that we don't know. You don't know, I don't know, we don't know. So none of, you and I aren't going to know exactly the blueprint, but I would say, in kind of a general sense, lean into being uncomfortable and lean into trying putting yourself out there. If you get rejected, I'll say this when you get rejected, because we all get rejected right, at some point. So when you get rejected. I think we, remembering, and this is, again, not easy, so this will be imperfect, remembering that that does not mean that you are bad or wrong or not sexy or not lovable, right? It's just a mismatch. It's a misalignment. And think about the times that you've rejected something, right? You didn't like that, that plate of food. It wasn't because the person who made it was bad. It's just like, oh, I don't fucks with mac and cheese, which, if you don't fuck with mac and cheese, but sometimes the mac and cheese is too soupy, so I'm with you. You need to be baked with multiple cheeses, for sure. So it doesn't mean that the person is bad or you're bad. It just means it's a misalignment. And so don't let that discourage you. Feel your feels, but then get back up and put yourself out there. Because what you need, actually, in this state, I think, is to gain data. Lauren Hill said this in her MTV Unplugged, which is something along the lines of, she treats herself as an experiment, which is to say I'm willing to try these things and figure out what's working and what's not working, and then whittle my theory down and figure out what's best for me. I think that's the space this person has to be willing to try. Yeah, how about you, what do you think?

Myisha: I was just getting really excited for this person.

Brandon: Yes, it's actually an exciting place, right.

Myisha: It is because it, you know, it's really reminding me of clients who I've had in the past who are on that journey to figure out what they want and how they want it. And ultimately, they know they want love, but they're like, kind of open to whatever crosses their path. And I would say that for someone who has little to no sexual experience, which I've definitely worked with those clients too.

Brandon: Yeah.

Myisha: I want to speak to that a little bit, because there's always that concern that people are going to know.

Brandon: Yeah.

Myisha: They won't know. They won't know. I mean, there are cases where I've advocated for clients to say, create a FEELD profile, right when they're more interested in on the sex side.

Brandon: Sure.

Myisha: And to actually say that, like, I'm here to explore, I'm here to gain experience, you know, like, who, who among you is available?

Brandon: Is available for this experience, yes.

Myisha: And that has actually produced really great loving in the moment, you know, experiences for my clients, so.

Brandon: Yeah.

Myisha: I think that, you know, you could go about this two ways. Like, one, you could just focus on one thing at a time, like, let me go over here into this space that's a little more safe for me to explore the sex stuff and be vulnerable and be honest about where I'm at in this process for myself. You could have your same like profile up on the regular dating app sites too, you know, if you want to have something that's more like love focused, you could blend them, but you know that's the whole dating app world. I think the other world is you really embody that, you know, I am seeking, I'm experimenting, I am trying to understand myself better. I mean, I think that's an attitude you can carry through app dating too, but bring it forward in your day to day life as well. And get really curious about how to build community if you don't feel like asexual is the right label for you, like, get really curious about what else is out there that might feel like a good label, or, like, at least, sort of adjacent identity that you could then pull from and get inspiration from, and see how other people are doing that, enacting that, playing with that, you know, fucking with that.

Brandon: Yes, the curiosity is such a key factor.

Myisha: Yes.

Brandon: Get curious like, you don't know, admit you don't know, and then just like, really lean into that curiosity.

Myisha: Yeah so I'm excited. I'm actually excited for this person.

Brandon: Also, like, a practical and there's stigma and taboo still around it, but very practically, sex workers are very are a beautiful way to explore. There are beautiful relationships you can make with a sex worker that can be like, hey, I'm trying to explore this thing, and you can have that support. I, very early on, hired a sex coach, actually, because I was trying to learn more about my body. And so I hired a sex coach and and that was somebody that I was able to in a very hands on, respectable way, figure out some things about my body and myself, and I owe that person a whole lot in terms of my journey, because there, you know, I get that fear, and it's harder. There's something scary I can admit, going out into the, let's say, quote, unquote, real world, and putting yourself out there in that way, but sometimes in the safety container with somebody who is in sex work might actually support you in that exploration. And feel like I can ask questions and like you feel like it's almost like your own time. Your little bit of therapy in a way. So that is also a very practical step that you could look into, if it feels like it fits for you.

Myisha: Yes and I'll just add a caveat to that, so yes, the person who you worked with perhaps identified as a sexological body worker. Is that how they?

Brandon: Maybe they didn't use that term, but this is also years ago, but, but I love that, yes, a sexological body worker.

Myisha: Yeah, because there, there's lots of different sex coaching. For me, I'm talk only, but there are people who are hands on, hands in, I'm thinking about, like, classic old school Betty Dodson whole hosting, like, masturbation, you know, workshops, absolutely, and it's, it can be so amazing to have that individualized attention in a it's a sexual experience, but it's in a non sexual context. It's like a curious face of what happens next? What happens if I do let go and cry, like I don't want to do that in front of a stranger, but maybe I need to do that to access something inside me with this person who's a professional, so.

Brandon: Yes, honestly, Sex Love and Goop, which is a doc series on Netflix, goes through different modalities of therapy, and one of them is the hands on. And I think the first show, I think it's called goop or something like that, Betty Dodson, or that whole world is in there as well. There's because for Big Mouth, we had to watch an episode about the vulva, which was in that first episode, so like, if you're not familiar with that work, that's a really easy put it on Netflix and watch and kind of learn what that is and see if it might fit for you.

Myisha: Yes. I also think that, you know, I just want to end with like, love is in this person's future. Romantic love is in this person's future.

Brandon: Yes.

Myisha: It's just a matter of time. And I think the fact that they made themselves vulnerable by asking this question, by putting it out there, like the gears are already turning.

Brandon: Yeah.

Myisha: For this to happen for them.

Brandon: Yeah, you're making space for it. Once you, because you've brought awareness to it, you're now able to make space for that thing to come to you and
to find the right partner or partners to, to come with. Okay?

Myisha: To come together,

Brandon: To come together.

Myisha: Yes, amazing. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break, but when we get back, we'll hear from a listener who's considering non monogamy. Don't go anywhere.

BREAK

Myisha: And we're back. Brandon, are you ready for our last question?

Brandon: Yes!

Myisha: Okay, let's take a listen.

Question 3
TK TK TK

Brandon: I love this.

Myisha: Me too.

Brandon: So I'm, yeah, I'm poly. I've been, so my husband and I have been together for nine years. We have been open for five of those years, and poly for the last two, we would say, and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for the last year, so I've experienced a lot of the ebbs and flows of what it takes to go from we're simply opening to even to poly, which is another ball game. So the first thing I'll say is, you actually get even more intimate, that the intimacy actually deepens, because in order to navigate. And by the way, I'll say, if this is done, I don't want to use the words correct or wrong, but if it's done in a healthy way, let's say if, if you do open relationships or non monogamy in a healthy way, I think it actually can deepen the relationship, because it requires so much communication.

Myisha: Right.

Brandon: I'm not saying like, we're sitting down talking about all the things we did with other people, but the fact that we're just like checking in with each other's feelings. How are you feeling about this? Do we want to add this rule? Do we need this boundary? Like you're talking a lot more, because it's not a given. Whereas we all know what monogamy is, we grew up every show you watched. You're seeing monogamy, your family, you grew up seeing. Everyone knows what that is. And so there tends to be, there shouldn't be, but there tends to be less talking in a monogamous relationship, I think because we think we know what it is, whereas if you start moving into the open, you are forced to now talk more because you're bringing in different partners, different energy. So in many ways, I think that our intimacy deepened and became bigger because of it. What I will say, and what I always say, is to over communicate, that there are no dumb questions, right. These are keys when you're entering non monogamy, and to state the obvious, and then also, before you even, like, dip your toe in, I think sometimes people think, oh, non monogamy, polyamory, I have to have five girlfriends and 10 boyfriends. Maybe, no, no, you're doing so much. Training wheels, right? Like, start, dip your toe in. What does that look like? Perhaps it looks like we have threesomes together. Perhaps it looks like we only play when one person is out of town. Perhaps it looks like we never play at home. We only play at other, like whatever it is. But start small. Build your trust with each other, small, bit by bit, and then it can expand. But don't try to go to 10. That's that you will fuck up every time you try to go right to 10 you start at one. Where are we like? We don't actually know what this is, right, like. Let's admit that we don't. We've never experienced this. We've never done this together. So let's start easy, and inside of that research, research, research, research, you might be doing some parallel processing. You might be experiencing and researching, but read like find the books, find the poly influencers or the non monogamous influencers. Find the authors and sex therapists that are talking about this. Listen to people talk about their experiences, so that you can just have a sense of what you might come up against, or how do you navigate that situation. See again, monogamy, we're very well versed in. So sometimes when you come up against a bump, you're like, well, I saw that on that episode of x, y and z, so I know what that looks like. But when it comes to non monogamy, you more than likely haven't seen a real experience of that. So when you come up against the jealousy or the miscommunication or the broken trust or the boundary cross, you're like, how do I navigate? And so engaging and throwing yourself into research, research, research and in a fun way, and consuming people's experiences, it doesn't have to be your own right. You're not trying to match the blueprint, but just understand what the blueprints are out there so that you can build your own. And the final thing I'll say is that it is your blueprint inside of the relationship. It does not need to look like how somebody else did it or created it. You and your partner are learning from those other blueprints, but you are building your own map. You might have to, you know, I always say, and this is about sex, poly relationships, your career, draft it in pencil, so that you have the ability to erase and, you know, readjust, but draft everything. Nothing has to be in Sharpie. And don't paint that thing in baby, like that will fuck you up. You'll paint yourself into a corner, draft it in pencil and allow it to evolve and shift with time. Maybe let me add one more piece actually.

Myisha: Go for it, yeah.

Brandon: You know, you know, I have a lot of thoughts on this cause we've been through it. But also, when you do hit that bump, it will be uncomfortable. And like I said to this last person, it doesn't mean that it's wrong or bad, because what's also gonna come up is all of your socialization. So a lot of things that I battled with was, am I doing this right? Which one? What is right or wrong, within context. But it's like, oh, I'm coming up against how I was taught to be in relationship which was monogamous and which was heterosexual.

Myisha: Right.

Brandon: Yeah. And so if you're doing something different, you're naturally, your spidey senses are gonna go off, and you're gonna be like, uh, and it's like, no, no, you're not doing anything wrong here. Like, it's just a different, it's a different journey, and so it's a little uncomfortable, until it becomes comfortable.

Myisha: Yes, well, that was a beautiful answer. I don't have too much to add, other than I've walked, you know, with couples through this process. So if you feel like it's something where you would like to have some support, do reach out to a poly friendly sex therapist or sex coach who you can really bring these questions, concerns, like, if you feel overwhelmed by like, where do I get these resources? By the way, New York Times just came out with a list of the best poly resources.

Brandon: Oh!

Myisha: And some of the names on the list of, you know, recommenders, I'm like, they're part of my community. I sort of fully trust what people,

Brandon: Yes,

Myisha: have recommended. And some of the hits are Opening Up by Tristan Taormino, The Ethical Slut, which is like the old school Bible, opening up and polyamory, but you know, yeah, that's my only caveat. Is like, get support too.

Brandon: Yeah.

Myisha: My clients love going to ethical, non monogamy meetups or poly meetups in their group.

Brandon: Yes, your community.

Myisha: Yeah, so it's, it's something that you don't have to do in a vacuum. It's something that's always individual. Like all the clients that I have, like, they all start out in different places, they all end up in different places.

Brandon: Yes.

Myisha: So it's your journey.

Brandon: You saying the vacuum thing, though, actually, it makes me think about The Ethical Slut, which is sometimes and depending on where you are, like, I'm in LA, gay in LA, if you know, you say, I got a boyfriend. People go, okay, cool. What are we eating? Chicken tenders now. But like somewhere else, you might get some pushback. And so I think it's also valid to keep things private. Private and secret are not the same, right? So as you explore, it's tender, it's new, you are susceptible to other people's opinions about it, and so for the safety of your baby, which is non monogamy or polyamory, it's okay to keep it private. For the for the first year or two that my husband and I were exploring being open, we didn't really tell a lot of people, for that reason. We didn't want opinions. We didn't want the judgment. And when we started, which nine years ago, there was judgment still like it wasn't as lovely as it might be now, and it's still getting lovelier. So I think it's okay to sometimes keep those things private between you and your partner as and as you build your community, so that you can really see what you think about it and how you feel about it, as opposed to what your mama feels, what law feels.

Myisha: Mama doesn't need to know.

Brandon: Mama doesn't need to know and the law doesn't need to know right now, you know. So I think that that's okay to keep things private, to start to nurture the baby, the poly baby.

Myisha: Yes. It's time for our last segment. I have three questions for you that are all about sex and dating and relationships, and you get to pick the one that you want to answer. How's that sound?

Brandon: Okay. So you give me three questions, then I pick one?

Myisha: That's right.

Brandon: Oh, love it.

Myisha: Okay.

Brandon: I follow rules.

Myisha: Rule follower. Poly friendly agreements, you know.

Brandon: Yeah.

Myisha: Okay, here are your choices. A, what's the messiest hookup you've ever had? B, what has non monogamy taught you about love or C, have you ever followed someone's bad relationship advice and what happened?

Brandon: Well, that's a no never.

Myisha: Not me.

Brandon: Me? Girl, if it smells off, I ain't doing it. What was, what was B?

Myisha: It was, what has non monogamy taught you about love?

Brandon: That love is expansive, that love is not fragile, that love is not something to be reserved, or that's scarce, that love is quite abundant, that you are able to love as many people as you can see, as you can feel. You can love ancestors you've never met. You can love people who have passed. You can love people who are here. You can love the trees. You can love you know, people. You can love everything. And I think sometimes we're taught that, like we have to save the love for the one Prince Charming, or the one Princess Charming, or the one they/them charming. And it's like no love is quite big. And also, love does not start at, I do or love does not start at, like, you're my boyfriend, you're my girlfriend, you're my they friend. You know that first year or two, or even four or five is real cute, but love really, you really want to get into one love is, it's like, it's year 9/10, and that's in friendships, that's in family, that's it like, that's everything. It's like, oh, when we've gotten to this point. And now I'm watching somebody become a new version of themselves again, and I'm watching it happen again, and I'm becoming a new version of myself again, every time, right? Because hopefully, as an individuals, you're always growing, and every time I grow as an individual, it's going to impact this relationship. And my husband makes a choice to stay as we do that, and vice versa, and so like that, that is love, like through the willingness and the capacity to not again, not when it's unsafe, but when it's uncomfortable, right? When it's uncomfortable, because change is uncomfortable, and watching your partner change, all your fear comes up, like, am I gonna get left? Am I gonna get abandoned? Or, like, who is this person? Right? But, but to be able to sit in it with them and hold their hand and say, I got you, we're gonna go through this that is love. So non monogamy, being able to be with my husband and with my boyfriend, and kind of watch both of them and watch myself shift, has taught me so much about the expansiveness and the strength and the fortitude and the abundance and the magnitude of love. She's not weak. She really isn't.

Myisha: It's the perfect place to land. So thank you so so so much for being back on the show. You're the first guest to make a second appearance.

Brandon: Oh, my goodness.

Myisha: On How's Your Sex Life.

Brandon: Listen, I really love any kind of award that I can get, and that's an award, right?

Myisha: Of course.

Brandon: Y'all gonna send me a little sash or a crown?

Myisha: I was gonna say, look out for you know, check your mailbox.

Brandon: Check my mailbox every day until I get my sash.

Myisha: Yes. Have loved having you on, obviously, and having you back. Before you go, please tell everybody where they can find you and listen to your new podcast.

Brandon: Yes, you can find me on Instagram, at Brandon Kyle Goodman, or my website, brandonkylegoodman.com and you can find the podcast on the iHeart app, or wherever you get your podcast, Tell Me Something Messy, part of iHeart, and Outspoken network and comes out every Thursday, and I interview celebrities, I interview sexperts, and I even interview my friends and my family. Next couple weeks from now, my husband will be on the podcast, and we'll be talking about polyamory, so it's a fun time.

Myisha: Ohhh, spicy!

Brandon: Yes!

Myisha: Thanks again, Brandon.

Brandon: Thank you!

CREDITS

Myisha: And thank you for listening. Next time on How's Your Sex Life? I'll be answering your questions with content creator Luke Francina.

ADD BITE

Myisha: And if you need advice for your love life, be sure to drop us an email or voice memo at sexlife@kcrw.org, we'll keep you anonymous.

Myisha: How's your Sex Life? is a KCRW original podcast. Our producer is Andrea Bautista. Our executive producer is Gina Delvac. This episode was mixed by Hope Brush. Our music was created by Carolyn Pennypacker Riggs. Special thanks to Women's Audio Mission, Myriam-Fernanda Alcala Delgado, Arnie Seipel and Jennifer Ferro and a big shout out to our voice actors, we'll let them introduce themselves on the way out.

VO1: This is Aaron Alter. Thanks for listening.

VO2: This is Priya…,

VO3: This is Michael Joson. See you next week for another episode of KCRW’s How’s Your Sex Life.